Friday, 6 December 2013
Wednesday, 13 November 2013
Sunday, 20 October 2013
Is your Mom Anemic?
 |
| The Lifeline of the Family |
“But…”
“You are anemic madam. Please consult your doctor. Thank you.”
This happened a few years back when my friend’s mom found out that she was
anemic in a blood donation camp. First of all, what is being 'anemic'? An
anemic condition is when the number of blood cells is less or when the hemoglobin content is low. A simple survey with those who around you,
would show that women are more anemic compared to men. The biological
reasons include pregnancy and menstruation. But other than the natural bias
there is a ‘cultural’ reason too and this post is about that.
“Poor diet” is one of the major reason for the iron or vitamin
deficiency anemia. But how is that only women get a “poor" diet in a house where men don't have this problem? You would know the answer if you closely
observe the hierarchy created by culture which is followed in our houses when we
eat. Let’s assume the case of an elemental family consisting of father, mother,
sons and daughters. The hierarchy is that the father eats first, and then the
sons, and then the daughters and last of all is the mother. Why are we
following this? Many would say that this is what happening for ages or simply
say “I don’t know”. But the logic is simple. The father is the breadwinner of
the family, so for the good of the family he should eat “well”. Second in line
are the sons who are the future breadwinners. The daughters eat next because
they should learn that this is the way (that men should eat first) they should
behave in the house they would go soon. Finally after serving everyone, the
mother eats what ever is left over. Eventually no one is worried what she eats
or if there is sufficient food for her. And when the food is certified as tasty,
mothers part theirs to others so that others can enjoy what she has cooked. This might not be an exact hierarchy.
But every family that I have seen has almost a similar order where the males of
the family eat first and then the females. This happens even in joint families
with a slight change in the order that elders eat first.
Culture is that very brilliant and gives lame justifications for all it
does. Woman should eat after man because that would make her “ideal”. Also it
is said that the food left over by the husband on his plate is “tastier” than
the normal food. How can the same food become tastier all of a sudden? Real stupidity. But this is very much internalized by women themselves. One of my cousin
never used to even “touch” the food from other plates. But after her marriage I noticed
that she practiced what she used to call “disgusting”. This was all because of
the 'premarital training' my aunt gave. Though outwardly it is womanliness
personified, this is just one form of patriarchy through the agent called
culture.
Few days back while having tea with my friends, we ended up talking
about vegetarianism. A friend of mine told me about a peculiar practice by her
caste. It was like this, all the females of the caste are vegetarian and males
are allowed to eat non vegetarian food. Strange isn’t it? More strange is that women,
who don’t eat them, cook these foods for men. I was really astonished when I
heard this. Patriarchy rooted to its core. No wonder she is from one of the
backward districts of Tamil Nadu.
More worse is the condition of poor vegetarians. When the vegetarians don’t take even the milk products properly, they land up with this type of anemia called ‘pernicious’ anemia which is somehow related to the deficiency of Vitamin B12 (Vitamin B12 is present in only meat and animal protein foods).
More worse is the condition of poor vegetarians. When the vegetarians don’t take even the milk products properly, they land up with this type of anemia called ‘pernicious’ anemia which is somehow related to the deficiency of Vitamin B12 (Vitamin B12 is present in only meat and animal protein foods).
More than all this there is a serious question that whether mothers eat?
It is not that moms don’t eat “properly”, it is that they don’t eat “totally”
when they should.Mom is the lifeline of the family. No one in the
family knows when she gets up and when she sleeps but every work is done for everyone
on time. For her, to eat is a like any other “work”. It
is actually a disturbance to many of her other works. She would rather
concentrate on other works as there is no one else to look into and that she
can eat later or “adjust”. Then comes the practice of sending petitions to God
above through what is called as fasting. Moms fast for many reasons. That her
child should be in good health, do well in the exams, or get an IIM seat, or get a job, if there is a
job should go to onsite, or get married soon, if married should bear a child
soon and the list goes on and on and on. Also Moms don’t eat because every
problem of the family literally runs over her head. Maybe her husband’s work
tension, or a financial crunch, there maybe a quarrel between the father and
the son, or the daughter has a quarrel with her husband, or her son is working
late in office and the like.
Before writing this, I asked some of my friends if any of their moms were
anemic. Some of them said yes or that they were in the past. Some didn’t know
if their moms were. And some, even their moms, didn’t know what is being
‘anemic’. Being anemic is not taken that serious because it is not like being
with cancer or any other big disease. We always want something to be big to
give attention to. Small things go less noticed or unnoticed. And that culture is so inextricably tied to our lives, together with an ever-changing fast world things really go unnoticed.
To conclude…. Ah... No I don’t want to give an emotional conclusion for
this post and end up in tears. It is up to you to conclude or decide what the
best is to be done for someone who always wants the best for you.
[I do not have a scientific evidence for what I have said. This is just
an assumption of what I have observed. But still there is a strong feeling
that this could be a reason]
Friday, 13 September 2013
Tuesday, 3 September 2013
Thursday, 29 August 2013
Monday, 26 August 2013
Sunday, 14 July 2013
Does God follow or even know the BODMAS rule??
Before I start, just to let the
know readers (doubt if we any visitors till now) that the ‘Candid’ part in the
name of the blog was my idea & 'fox' was Antony Dilip's idea(you should have realized by reading the first post of this blog).
Live in the moment, Just Live
it!! It’s an easy quote to read but one of the hardest ones to follow in
practical life. I am writing this piece because I realized I should pen down my
thoughts as I have observed that I am making so much observations in daily life,
and for me, observations should not stop there but lead to sharing. Being
candid is one of the little betterment I have taken up myself recently & it’s
real fun and hugely inches you closer to the talking point – “Live in the
moment, just live it”. I may be discussing a difficult question in this post
but all said it’s my opinion & each of us may have different opinions.
I am sure every one of us should
have come across this term “BODMAS”, if you have not – sorry mate, ask your
child (if you have) or little cousins, they should help you out. So, what about
this BODMAS, is your question, right??? So, it’s this
B
|
Brackets first
|
O
|
Orders (ie Powers and Square Roots, etc.)
|
DM
|
Division and Multiplication
(left-to-right)
|
AS
|
Addition and Subtraction
(left-to-right)
|
One of the main reasons for me to
start this blog along with Antony is to express our thoughts & observations.
It was one of the regular temple visits I made with my family and there starts
my observations. I believe that people come to temple for only letting their
prayers to the God (although this might not hold true, we are in 2013). So,
just for fun or a huge risk, let’s take the position of the protagonist here, that’s
the GOD. So, here is a sample set you may receive,
Pass me in the exam + [(salary*2) – boss torture + success for love] +
[{daughters marriage delayed? – husband’s torture}* get the highway contract to
me only} + (revenue the whole square) – partner problem] + get me sick,
tomorrow no school* lot of chocolates/teacher beating……
So, we are the GOD now – we have
to solve it! World will become chaos if we don’t. Does he really uses the
BODMAS rule here so that the salary gets doubled first & the boy gets
chocolates at the last. No matter the rule states it’s left to right or right
to left, solution matters. If I were god, I would give up & then walk away,
take a sabbatical!! So what makes this GOD so special solving all these kind of
core complex algebraic equations of prayers & to add to that it may come
via a temple in Rameshwaram or a holy church in Vatican or a Mosque somewhere
in South Sudan.
Hope all of us have heard about
spiritual advice given to people that GOD is everywhere, you are GOD, I am GOD,
and GOD is everywhere? And really doubt how serious we take that saying. It
actually matters to see around you, observe & connect so that you can realize
the GOD in you. I recently received a SMS forward, a lovely one indeed: “Do what you do for GOD, do to people who are in
need, you will be seen as GOD by them”. Just think, what has GOD done after
creating the world, he has created us to live in it. So, as I am the GOD, what
I would do to solve the algebraic expression is that I would make everyone
realize me in each of them so that problem gets solved easily within them. But,
you may argue how do you realize it??? It so easy, just live in the moment,
cherish it, leave the past, observe the world in you & connect them all to
the daily happenings – either you get more questions or solutions to the
questions you have already got. However , it’s up to you to share them with
others – you are the GOD, you see, you
take the final call, but it’s important to realize everything starts from you
& you only. It’s the choice we make in our lives that defines you. A
short analogy to close down on these free flowing of thoughts for the past one
hour or so – Assumptions, Believes,
& Choices are the ABCs of our lives.
Wooof, I did not expect all these
stuff two hours back. It’s awesome, just living & loving it. After all, it’s
a beautiful life, go live it!! Who cares of BODMAS now, just feed the equation
to a scientific calculator or your desktop!!! And I have texted Antony, first
post done, phew! Don’t worry I forced myself to write such a lengthier, future posts will be not cross 300 words,
GOD Promise, oh I am the GOD right??? – that’s candidfox for u :):)
- N.S.Madanish Kanna
- N.S.Madanish Kanna
Sunday, 7 July 2013
The Fox and the Grapes - Sequel: The Fox that knew the Grapes!
.......”These grapes are sour”, said the fox and it
left the vineyard silently.
A sense of anger filled its heart. As it walked back home, several questions flashed its mind. What went wrong? Were the grapes too high? Was it too sunny? Maybe it was because of the wind? Or maybe the Gods didn't like it? By the time it went to its bed there was no more anger, but what remained was disappointment. The fox realized that it failed only because it didn't perform well that it made a poor jump. It said, “I’m the reason for my own failure. Poor performance, poor result”. When there is a success no one cares to list out the reasons that made their way to victory. Moreover it’s 'the time' to celebrate. Who would want to waste their time contemplating when there is a big party around the corner? ‘I have won’ is the only thought that lingers in our mind. But when there is a failure, it is totally the other way around. We tend ask so many questions and try to find out the ‘real’ reason only to end up in a headache. Finally even when there could be so many external factors influencing the failure we end up only in blaming ourselves. This is what had happened to the fox. It did not sleep the entire night.
The next day morning the sun rose and so did the fox’s hope. Being rational, the fox felt it was of no use to be gloomed in disappointment. It decided to end all its sorrows and wanted to try one more time. The fox actually couldn't give up. Strange isn't? First, it labeled the grapes as sour so that it would never go behind it. Then it accepted that it was the reason for its own failure. But now it changed all its views and wanted to taste the grapes at-least once. All of us fall at a certain point of time. Victory can never be final result always. We fall only to get up. Every failure is only a test of resiliency. How quick one comes out of the failure is a greater virtue than success itself. Unfortunately many don’t understand this rule of the game of life. Fortunately the cunning fox knew this. Taking a long breath of the fresh morning air it said, “And when I fall down I have to pick myself back up”. The fox stood up. This time it wanted to taste success more than the grapes per se. It went to gymnasium, did all sorts of exercises and practiced jump to high. It practiced in the mornings, in the evenings and in the nights. It squeezed itself with pain. It worked out its plans vigorously as it wanted only one result – success. The fox practiced so much that it unknowing began to enjoy the sport of jumping.
On the ‘D’ day the fox reached the vineyard and it smiled a ‘here I come’ smile on seeing the grapes. This time with so much confidence in its heart it was very sure it could taste a ‘double victory’ - Success and the grapes. The enthusiastic fox jumped.
One.
Two.
And there you go.
Filled with greed to taste grapes, it gulped the entire bunch of grapes at one go. And it said, “Yuck!!” and spat everything out. The grapes were SOUR! All the glorious treasures of the world, all great achievements and victories, moneys and materials, ‘that which should be tasted once at the least’ remains sweet only until it is tasted. Once tasted, everything becomes sour and something else becomes sweet. Everything is because of the mind. It is the mind that plays the trick. Something becomes precious only if the mind values it and the same thing becomes redundant only because of the same mind. There is always something sweeter only because what was sweet has become sour.
Disappointment. But it is not the same degree of disappointment that the fox experienced earlier. This was worse. When disappointment comes in for the second time it is more severe and more painful. Just like the second heart attack it could take one’s life. So much was the fox affected in anguish and pain. Lost its own ‘self’, the fox didn't know what to do. It began to walk. It walked and walked and walked. The fox didn't know where its legs were leading it. But it kept walking. Everyday the sun rose, but now it didn't make any difference. Without any food and sleep it walked. Without any hope, without any feeling, pale and empty the fox walked.
One afternoon the fox stopped abruptly. It felt that it had walked really too much. From the vineyards of Spain, it finally reached the country Greece. The fox realized it made no sense to walk aimlessly and that would lead only to its death. It decided to lead a ‘what it can do its best’ life.
Days passed. Every day the sun came up bright and then the moon came up glittering. It did not make any difference for it. Life went normal for the fox. When you accept things as they are then ‘all is well’. The fox was at peace! But still as days progressed somewhere deep inside its heart, it knew that its story was not over yet. Slowly the thought of ‘my day is near’ began to grow. The fox matured enough by then, never anticipated anything ‘big’.
After several months on one fine day, there was a big announcement. What else can one expect in the land of Greece? Yes it was the Olympics! The country started its preparation for the games and everybody was counting to watch the new events introduced that year. One such new event called ‘high jump’ was also introduced. The fox came to know that it was an event where one has to jump to win. It thought to itself that by participating in the event it may not win the game but it is not going to lose anything. After all the fox has to do one thing that it enjoyed – jumping. The fox decided to participate without bothering about the result.
On the day of event, the stadium was overflowing with enthusiastic and noisy audience. So many were watching the event with a lot of expectation, but the fox was not nervous and was relaxed. It was not bothered who was watching it. It clearly knew that whatever happens in the event, the sun is going to set in the evening and rise tomorrow morning just like any other day. Moreover it knew that it was good at jumping and the problem was only the grapes which were not here. On its turn, with the sound of the whistle it started with a hop towards the rod. The crowd went silent.
One..
Two..
And there you go.
Like a feather in the air, it passed the rod and fell on the bed. Cheers! The crowd applauded in such a way that the skies could come down. The fox performed well in the other categories as well. To its own surprise the fox won gold medals in all the categories that it participated. News flashed - reporters, interviews, photographs and what not. The fox became a hero in a promiscuous jump. Had the fox tasted the grapes in the very first go; it wouldn’t have practiced the high jumps so diligently and wouldn’t have become the center of all the attraction now. Haven’t this happened to each one of us? Hardwork at times won’t give its fruits immediately but one will surely reap the benefits in the long run. Also failures are actually not bad compared to the way they are portrayed. After all, every failure only leads one to a better place in life. The fox got all that it never anticipated. After many many days the fox felt happy.
A sense of anger filled its heart. As it walked back home, several questions flashed its mind. What went wrong? Were the grapes too high? Was it too sunny? Maybe it was because of the wind? Or maybe the Gods didn't like it? By the time it went to its bed there was no more anger, but what remained was disappointment. The fox realized that it failed only because it didn't perform well that it made a poor jump. It said, “I’m the reason for my own failure. Poor performance, poor result”. When there is a success no one cares to list out the reasons that made their way to victory. Moreover it’s 'the time' to celebrate. Who would want to waste their time contemplating when there is a big party around the corner? ‘I have won’ is the only thought that lingers in our mind. But when there is a failure, it is totally the other way around. We tend ask so many questions and try to find out the ‘real’ reason only to end up in a headache. Finally even when there could be so many external factors influencing the failure we end up only in blaming ourselves. This is what had happened to the fox. It did not sleep the entire night.
The next day morning the sun rose and so did the fox’s hope. Being rational, the fox felt it was of no use to be gloomed in disappointment. It decided to end all its sorrows and wanted to try one more time. The fox actually couldn't give up. Strange isn't? First, it labeled the grapes as sour so that it would never go behind it. Then it accepted that it was the reason for its own failure. But now it changed all its views and wanted to taste the grapes at-least once. All of us fall at a certain point of time. Victory can never be final result always. We fall only to get up. Every failure is only a test of resiliency. How quick one comes out of the failure is a greater virtue than success itself. Unfortunately many don’t understand this rule of the game of life. Fortunately the cunning fox knew this. Taking a long breath of the fresh morning air it said, “And when I fall down I have to pick myself back up”. The fox stood up. This time it wanted to taste success more than the grapes per se. It went to gymnasium, did all sorts of exercises and practiced jump to high. It practiced in the mornings, in the evenings and in the nights. It squeezed itself with pain. It worked out its plans vigorously as it wanted only one result – success. The fox practiced so much that it unknowing began to enjoy the sport of jumping.
On the ‘D’ day the fox reached the vineyard and it smiled a ‘here I come’ smile on seeing the grapes. This time with so much confidence in its heart it was very sure it could taste a ‘double victory’ - Success and the grapes. The enthusiastic fox jumped.
One.
Two.
And there you go.
Filled with greed to taste grapes, it gulped the entire bunch of grapes at one go. And it said, “Yuck!!” and spat everything out. The grapes were SOUR! All the glorious treasures of the world, all great achievements and victories, moneys and materials, ‘that which should be tasted once at the least’ remains sweet only until it is tasted. Once tasted, everything becomes sour and something else becomes sweet. Everything is because of the mind. It is the mind that plays the trick. Something becomes precious only if the mind values it and the same thing becomes redundant only because of the same mind. There is always something sweeter only because what was sweet has become sour.
Disappointment. But it is not the same degree of disappointment that the fox experienced earlier. This was worse. When disappointment comes in for the second time it is more severe and more painful. Just like the second heart attack it could take one’s life. So much was the fox affected in anguish and pain. Lost its own ‘self’, the fox didn't know what to do. It began to walk. It walked and walked and walked. The fox didn't know where its legs were leading it. But it kept walking. Everyday the sun rose, but now it didn't make any difference. Without any food and sleep it walked. Without any hope, without any feeling, pale and empty the fox walked.
One afternoon the fox stopped abruptly. It felt that it had walked really too much. From the vineyards of Spain, it finally reached the country Greece. The fox realized it made no sense to walk aimlessly and that would lead only to its death. It decided to lead a ‘what it can do its best’ life.
Days passed. Every day the sun came up bright and then the moon came up glittering. It did not make any difference for it. Life went normal for the fox. When you accept things as they are then ‘all is well’. The fox was at peace! But still as days progressed somewhere deep inside its heart, it knew that its story was not over yet. Slowly the thought of ‘my day is near’ began to grow. The fox matured enough by then, never anticipated anything ‘big’.
After several months on one fine day, there was a big announcement. What else can one expect in the land of Greece? Yes it was the Olympics! The country started its preparation for the games and everybody was counting to watch the new events introduced that year. One such new event called ‘high jump’ was also introduced. The fox came to know that it was an event where one has to jump to win. It thought to itself that by participating in the event it may not win the game but it is not going to lose anything. After all the fox has to do one thing that it enjoyed – jumping. The fox decided to participate without bothering about the result.
On the day of event, the stadium was overflowing with enthusiastic and noisy audience. So many were watching the event with a lot of expectation, but the fox was not nervous and was relaxed. It was not bothered who was watching it. It clearly knew that whatever happens in the event, the sun is going to set in the evening and rise tomorrow morning just like any other day. Moreover it knew that it was good at jumping and the problem was only the grapes which were not here. On its turn, with the sound of the whistle it started with a hop towards the rod. The crowd went silent.
One..
Two..
And there you go.
Like a feather in the air, it passed the rod and fell on the bed. Cheers! The crowd applauded in such a way that the skies could come down. The fox performed well in the other categories as well. To its own surprise the fox won gold medals in all the categories that it participated. News flashed - reporters, interviews, photographs and what not. The fox became a hero in a promiscuous jump. Had the fox tasted the grapes in the very first go; it wouldn’t have practiced the high jumps so diligently and wouldn’t have become the center of all the attraction now. Haven’t this happened to each one of us? Hardwork at times won’t give its fruits immediately but one will surely reap the benefits in the long run. Also failures are actually not bad compared to the way they are portrayed. After all, every failure only leads one to a better place in life. The fox got all that it never anticipated. After many many days the fox felt happy.
In the following years the fox continued the sport of high jump. Every year the games came only for the fox to win the gold medals. It went on and banged 17 gold medals setting a world record. The fox was praised as the best athlete that the world has ever seen. The fox became the epitome of success. Fox traveler, Fox crime, Fox action movies, Fox news, 7th century Fox were all started after it. But the fox didn’t celebrate the success like the way it wanted to celebrate after having the grapes. The fox could feel that it is climbing to its zenith. But the humble fox knew the ‘real taste’ of success and it came out of all the accolades in a matter of time. It went ahead to the next step and kept doing what it could do the best. The wreaths of victories came to its paws even if it did not want it.
Later the fox married a
beautiful girl fox and they made love. It lived in peace and happiness.
After 7 years....
The fox and the girl fox they raised 4 fox babies. The fox started a high jump
school and trained everyone on high jump and other sports. The entire
generations of the fox family participated in the Olympics and made sure they
won the high jump event. The fox bought all the vineyards of the Mediterranean
region. From Spain to Greece, the fox bought them all. It tasted them all along
with its victories.
But the fox always knew that ’These grapes are sour’.
- Antony Dilip A
(That the grapes are always sour was told by one of my teacher and that the fox winning to set a world record on the medals tally was inspired from the life of Michael Phelps )
- Antony Dilip A
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)